We got home yesterday (Sunday) around noon. Babies and mom are doing great. We quickly settled into a a routine and so far the babies sugar level is staying pretty high, despite repeated attempts to steal it all from multiple people.
Aside from a little jaundice, everything is going great. They're laid out in their jaundice beds now, and hopefully our pediatrician will give us the all clear tomorrow.
A few quick observations from Dad:
- My little girl is not allowed to date until she turns 45.
- A successful diaper change requires the proper preparation of all needed materials.
- Full nights of sleep are the stuff that unicorns and fairies are made of.
- I'm not entirely sure that the previous sentence made sense.
6 comments:
Observations ala Jenn:
When Addison asks around age 14 to start going out with boys, and you tell her to wait 'til she's 45, and she says, "You! You are a murderer of love! (Reference to movie Dan in Real Life) I hate you!" I think you might change your mind. What could be worse: her dating or her hating you??
She's gonna wrap you 'round her little finger...better hope Krissee can stand up to her! ;-)
This is long but funny... I like Rule #4 and #10. POOR POOR Addison!
Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
Awesome. Good to hear eeverythings going well at home! Don't jaundice beds look like little mini tanning beds....?? Can we see??
That was funny Justin, thanks!
So glad the routine is setting in. I think it is hilarious about the dating!!! and the ten rules are great! Please Daniel, please have the camo face in the window!!! I got a mental picture and cracked up! Hope the jaundice subsides soon!! All the love, B
Are you really going to make us wait on pictures-- not nice!
How great- so glad you are all home and doing fairly well. My parents wish you both good luck and said (with complete joy in their voices) welcome to the exhaustion that doesn't go away for 18+yrs.
smtty293-great post!!
Heard a good parenting trick for when they get older- if they are bugging you just call grandma (you can rotate which one) and put the kids on the phone. Apparently, grandma's love it, well until the kids are just sitting there on the phone not saying anything, and it gives you a way out. Happy Parenting! Cheers to the 6569 left to go!
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